The dictionary definition of jealousy: jealous resentment against a rival, a person enjoying success or advantage, etc, or against another’s success or advantage itself.

In Australia, (also in Canada and New Zealand) we have a symptom called “The Tall Poppy Syndrome”, where people who are jealous of the success of another will attempt to “level” that person back to where they think they should be.

Instead of admiring and being inspired by the success of others, and using this as motivation to improve/succeed themselves, they attempt to bring the other person down to where they think they should be. This can be in many forms, words, thoughts and actions. A friend of mine will not take their expensive prestigious car to the supermarket etc, as it has been keyed in the past. They keep a small cheap car for errands, and only drive the car that they saved and worked hard for, at specific times.

If we are jealous of someone, do we attempt to level them, or do we admire them and be inspired by them?  Remember, we control our thoughts and actions. A negative and a positive thought cannot exist in the same moment. 

Many people and clients have told me that they fear the jealousy of others if they themselves become successful. Does this hold you back from doing what you want, getting what you want? How many times have you heard this phrase, “you are so lucky to…..”  Seneca, a roman dramatist, philosopher and politician (5BC - 65AD) said “luck is where preparation meets opportunity”.

Is a fear of others being jealous of you, actually holding you back?

I believe that if you are successful, and achieve your dreams and desires, yes, others will be jealous of you, the same as I have been jealous of other people. How you act is what will set you apart. Be motivated by those who achieve, let the fact that they have done it inspire you to reach your goals. I believe that by being successful you can inspire people around you. As you grow, others around you will grow. Be kind, share knowledge, mentor people (with their permission), love everyone.

One of the best ways to respond when people attempt to give you “advice” that may stop you from achieving is to smile, nod your head, and say something like, “Thankyou. I will take that onboard/I will consider that/I appreciate you sharing that information. Thankyou for caring about me.” Still smile, nod again. That is all you have to do. You don’t have to do what they say, just thank them for saying it.

Ultimately, if you let others stop you from achieving what you want, who wins?

 Mail this post Tags: coach, jealousy, luck, Queensland, success