Sticks and stones may hurt my bones,

but names will never hurt me.

A chant we all know from childhood, and a very well intended belief system. Yet, hard to implement, and harder to believe as the name calling increases, and we often tire of holding up our mental shield to deflect the names and negative taunts.

There comes a time to most of us that the “name calling” will hurt. It can hurt because we see the value in what is being said and it challenges us to think that not everything about ourselves is perfect. Other times it can hurt that not everyone sees us as the perfect/wonderful creatures that we are. For example: I grew up as a very overweight child, and still find the “perfect” weight to be a goal that I strive for. It is something I work on most of my life, and probably will for the rest of it. Almost every time that someone comments on my weight negatively, I can deflect it. Yet, when I am having a day, or time, of self doubt and self recrimination, those taunts are not easy to ignore, and yes, to be honest with you, I feel hurt if I hear them. Most times it is easy to accept that it is THEIR belief system, not mine.

I could look at their comments from the positive point, as encouragement, as acceptance that I am not where I want to be yet, and thank goodness they are pointing out that I have some goals still to attain. Good for you people, tell me more! I accept your encouragement with love, both for yourself and myself.

At the end of the day, it is how I ACCEPT and believe it that makes the difference to ME!

The same belief can be applied to the child that is being bullied at school, taunted on facebook by peers, spoken to by a ex-partner or friend, or what we often say to ourselves.

It is how I ACCEPT and love myself that makes the difference to ME!

Until next time, Love yourself greatly!!!!

Helen

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