Hi

I would like to direct everyone to the following weblink:

http://www.shesaid.com.au/article.aspx?n=23512694

I am writing a monthly for Shesaid.com.au, on relationships and dating.

Feel free to write positive wonderful comments about the article on their website.

Helen

Helen:

This week’s blog from Tim and Nicky is late, due to my being hospitalised over the weekend. I am allergic to bees, and was stung by one, whilst standing in my kitchen. Time to rethink being a bee-keeper!

Nicky:

Well, I still have my toes strapped after than unfortunate dump incident. I haven’t been back in the garden since. I think my house is turning against me. My CD player is only working when it wants to and my mini turntable has decided that it will jump all my records. So, out they go! Is it me, or am I missing a hidden message. Maybe its trying to tell me the lotto numbers for Saturday night, or maybe I am just paying way too much attention to all the things that need replacing and fixing around my house. I am still surrounded by angry people and I am finding out the more the whine at me, the more I am feeling the need to say, “oh, will you just shut up for 5 minutes.” It’s not like they have got a leg missing, but really, I don’t give a s$%t.

On a happier note, I have done 7 squares on my bedspread, and at this rate it will be winter 2011 not 2012. Oh yeah, I am motoring away there. We had a family BBQ on Saturday. I had a few bubbly wines with my sisters-in-law. It was good. I tried to encourage them to go another bottle, but their hubbies rushed them off. I think I’m a bad influence. Hook in I say, or as some say… game on. Oh well, I partied on at a bbq down the road (actually it was at Helen’s place), and a good time was had by all. We had a bonfire and a few jokes flew around. We all had a good laugh.  Well, I better get cracking on another square, I have last week’s number to beat.

Tim:

Patience is a virtue. I have found that the longer I go without a TV the more patient I become. At work, I have found that some blokes always irritate me to the point of my brain imploding, like a supernova star,,, but just occassionally I do step bac k and just appreciate them for who they really are.

I just started guitar lessons and have been practicing at home. The urge to pick the guitar up and flog it into splinters over the first piece of sheet music that happens to be floating around on the floor does overcome me sometimes. But, then again, being in the martial arts for some years has taught me that even though some smart 16 year old kid coming into the club telling me that he can do a double half breasted back spinning round house corkscrewing it down to a leg sweep and finishing it off with a back fist, need not look any further for a flogging, he’s about to get one.

So, in the end, patience is worth waiting for… Perhaps you would like to share your stories of having to wait for something and found it oh so sweeter when you finally got what you waited so long to have.

The dictionary definition of jealousy: jealous resentment against a rival, a person enjoying success or advantage, etc, or against another’s success or advantage itself.

In Australia, (also in Canada and New Zealand) we have a symptom called “The Tall Poppy Syndrome”, where people who are jealous of the success of another will attempt to “level” that person back to where they think they should be.

Instead of admiring and being inspired by the success of others, and using this as motivation to improve/succeed themselves, they attempt to bring the other person down to where they think they should be. This can be in many forms, words, thoughts and actions. A friend of mine will not take their expensive prestigious car to the supermarket etc, as it has been keyed in the past. They keep a small cheap car for errands, and only drive the car that they saved and worked hard for, at specific times.

If we are jealous of someone, do we attempt to level them, or do we admire them and be inspired by them?  Remember, we control our thoughts and actions. A negative and a positive thought cannot exist in the same moment. 

Many people and clients have told me that they fear the jealousy of others if they themselves become successful. Does this hold you back from doing what you want, getting what you want? How many times have you heard this phrase, “you are so lucky to…..”  Seneca, a roman dramatist, philosopher and politician (5BC - 65AD) said “luck is where preparation meets opportunity”.

Is a fear of others being jealous of you, actually holding you back?

I believe that if you are successful, and achieve your dreams and desires, yes, others will be jealous of you, the same as I have been jealous of other people. How you act is what will set you apart. Be motivated by those who achieve, let the fact that they have done it inspire you to reach your goals. I believe that by being successful you can inspire people around you. As you grow, others around you will grow. Be kind, share knowledge, mentor people (with their permission), love everyone.

One of the best ways to respond when people attempt to give you “advice” that may stop you from achieving is to smile, nod your head, and say something like, “Thankyou. I will take that onboard/I will consider that/I appreciate you sharing that information. Thankyou for caring about me.” Still smile, nod again. That is all you have to do. You don’t have to do what they say, just thank them for saying it.

Ultimately, if you let others stop you from achieving what you want, who wins?

This past week has been extremely busy, and I love it. I thrive on challenges, and really enjoy being around high energy, positive people.  I have coached some fabulous clients, met with fantastic business people, enjoyed the company of my family and friends at a wonderful social event, and also looked at buying a brand new ute. (still looking and thinking - Ford Ranger, black, 4 door, 4×2.. mmm!)

Working on my book has taken a lot of well directed and well enjoyed time. Both the printer’s quote, and  the mock up art work of the cover arrived this week. This is very exciting. I have wanted to be an author since I was a child, and the delivery time of this baby will be May/June this year. The book is called - The Book of Lists, how to organise your life in simple steps!

Negotiations are currently in progress with an organisation for corporate sponsorship . I believe in the words of Winston Churchill - “Never, ever, ever, ever give up!”  If you want it, and dream it, and desire it, and believe that you can have it…. go get it! If at first you don’t succeed, look at why.

Have you taken the right action? Have you taken enough action? Do you need someone to help you? Do you need to research more? Do you need to be coached more? Can you go down other avenues? Do you truly believe in your heart it can happen? Have you been specific enough? Do you get excited, emotional and inspired?

This is true for your dreams, true for your goals, true for your relationships, true for your career, true for your finances, true for your future, true for you!

If you want something, and you stumble along the way to getting it, never give up. Go get what you want, apologise to anyone you wronged along the way, keep close to you those people who believe in you, BELIEVE that you deserve it, that you are going to get it, that it is yours!

If all this is true for you…… go get it………never, ever, ever, ever give up!

Nicky:  I read a book in three days - Women’s Chicken soup for the Soul. I would highly recommend it. It was uplifting. I laughed, I cried. I felt at peace after I had read the book. Reversing out of a car park at a shopping centre today, I gave a wave to a woman I thought was patiently waiting for me. However, she gave me a mouthful of abuse. Usually I would have retaliated and given her what for, but I just burst out laughing. Obviously she was not patiently waiting. I found it so ridiculous and she would have been in her 50s or 60s. It wouldn’t even have been one minute that she had to wait. I wonder what she was in such a hurry to do?

With no TV, I am finding I sleep better, and that I’m not highly stimulated all the time. I am more relaxed and I notice the amount of angry people around me. Is it the rubbish that is on TV (I also had cable)? Believe me, there is some c%^p on there. In my household I am surrounded by love and encouragement to try new things. I am calm. However, in the outside world they are angry and in a hurry. I am aware that everyone is saying “Hey Captain Obvious, just watch the news!” Well, I have a challenge for you.. try not watching the news and take notice of the people around you. Do your own experiment and you will be suprised. I also find I am defusing people who are about to explode, and it seems that they respond to my calmness. I feel alive and alert, and feel that I could do anything and succeed without drama. This is an eye opening week, and I feel great. Bye for now…

Tim: So, I was thinking about what to say to you all this week. Then the reality of the current economic situation hit me. I’ve turned into a cheap bastard. All the things I watched my Mum and Dad do for all those years have now become implemented by me. I’ve also come up with some tips for you to get through this economic crisis.

1. Only do your toilet number twos at work, this will save on toilet paper.

2. Make sure you mate your sauce bottles.

3. Call into mum’s just before dinner. She’ll say, “oh you look hungry love, sit down and I’ll get you something to eat.”

4. Buy shares in SPC baked beans.

5. Canned meat can change your life.

6. Grow a beard to save on razors.

7. Rent that spare bedroom out to that uncle you really don’t like.

8. Last but not least, throw your TV away, you don’t need anymore ideas on how to spend your money. So, go and make best mates with that stingy uncle that’s always crying poor, he just might come in handy. Catcha later.

Hi

In Queensland this coming weekend we will be asked to vote on who will lead our state. I am not a person to be very involved in following a certain party or a political person, yet this week has been extremely interesting. 

There has been a lot of controversy about one of the people running for election - Pauline Hanson. Now, love her or not love her, there are many things that can be said about this lady. She has been insulted, ridiculed and belittled by other parties, the media, people in the community, yet she continues to stand up for what she believes in. How many of us could face such intense scruitiny into our own lives and come out crystal clean. I know I couldn’t. (and no, I will not tell you about it!~)

There is an old saying… it isn’t in how many times you get knocked down that matters, it’s in how many times you get back up. This past few weeks has also been a trial for me, of being knocked down, and getting back up. Yet, I am still standing on my feet, and always preparing for the next spurt of energy to propel me forwards. (Thank goodness without the media watching and reporting on me). It’s OK to also sit for a bit and work out a strategy on how to get up, and how to keep going…. just don’t sit for too long. You either evolve or dissolve.

How do we find the strength to keep getting up, and to keep going. It is in viewing the final post. My clients will know that their 7 year goals are exciting and inspiring, Just remembering them will keep you going. Finding your inner strength, or getting strength from a higher source can keep you going. Being held accountable to a coach may keep you going. Knowing I will be writing a blog about it keeps me going. Finding new and creative ways to do things can definitely keep you going.

Knowing that if I sit for too long, all the other people who fall will pile on top of me, and the getting up will be harder as I push and weave through the sitters, definitely motivates me to get up quickly.

Hugs

Helen

Nicky - Well, I started gardening. It began with a bit of a trim of the hedge, and ended up a full blown assault of the yard. Tim and I flew through it. Like Cyclone Larry. It was all going well, until the last day. We were at the dump when I dropped a besser brick on my foot. Luckily I had two RDO’s to rest my now suspected broken little toe. It’ll be fun shoving it into a gum boot at work tomorrow.

Tim is also sporting a wound. A piece of metal embedded an inch into his arm. He ended up at the Doctor for a tetnus shot. I, on the other hand, had refused to go to the Doctor, because we all know the drill -

Doctor: OK, I think it might be broken. we will send you for an x-ray.

Nicky: Is this really necessary?

Doctor: Yes.

Imagine spending your whole day off waiting at the x-ray clinic with a heap of sick people. Then, when you go back to the Doctor, he says, “Well, it’s broken, but there is nothing we can do about it. We’ll just strap two toes together.” Why don’t they tell you that in the first place and save us all bother. After half a bottle of wine, the pain started to dull. Let me tell you people, it’s just not enough. So, when the sun went down  I hobbled inside to have a shower and settle for the night. I am doing some knitting. I know, don’t laugh too hard. I am quite good at knitting sqares. I’m making a bedspread for my bedroom, and at the rate I’m going, it should be done by 2012, about Juneish. Until next time, Happy TVing.

Tim - Well, because this is a social experiment I went and watched TV today, to see how I would cope. Well, let’s just say that I am well and truly over all the sitcoms and dramas that float around the stations. However, on the other hand, something interesting happened. I was watching a science and discovery show on vehicles of the future. It stimulated my mind, and I came up with an invention of my own. The idea was to invert a conversion kit that went onto front wheel drive cars and converted them to petrol electric via two electric engines running the back wheels from a generator. The generator is run from the petrol engine at the front. So, in some ways, the TV has retarded our social skills. On the other hand, it can stimulate our creative genius. It may be good because I had a great talking point with my wife, but if we still had a TV (conundrum coming..) we wouldn’t have time to talk with one another.

Nicky:

Hooking into the exercise and eating properly. Learning things on the computer, until it crashed. How much can a girl take?  People ask me did I watch this or that on TV. Haven’t got a clue what they’re on about. Am feeling the pressure of not having that mind numbing quality time of nothingness. The stress levels are a bit high. If I can get through this weekend, I think it will all be fine.

Definitely a challenge for the mind. But on a good note, the pole dancing class is going well, only fell off once. Until next week, bye bye.

Tim:

Stress Relief. I can see why people sit in front of the TV and vege out when they have had a bad day. I had one myself and to be honest, I find myself funning over the same stuff in my head, instead of redirecting my focus. Honestly, isnt’ that how we should be dealing with our problems. So, the upside to having TV is that its an instant stress relief. The down side is that it doesn’t teach us to really look at our problems.

My next door neighbour, John, is like a mentor to me. He asked me about my day and I spilled everything. But you know, being able to talk to people as a focus redirection has taught me to appreciate and respect other people’s opinions and their convesations. After all, isn’t that why we’re here - to connect with other humans?

Hi

Today, I would like to receive comments from everyone who reads this blog with their opinions on this subject…………. When is texting ok?

In today’s society of instant gratification, emails and text message are a fast way to get a message to someone else without having to wait or talk to them. They can be sent to many people at the same time, and replies can come back very quickly. This can be a great tool.

But when is quick, technological messaging, not ok?

In the last week, I have heard of both an engagement party and a wedding invitation being texted to people. In both cases less than a week’s notice was given of each event. Is this ok? Can we text invitations to big events, such as engagement parties, weddings, divorces, births, deaths and funerals? Can we text a marriage proposal, or a relationship breakup via text message/fax/email?

Is an instant message more acceptable now than a invitation that is issued on paper and in the mail?  When telegrams were sent many years ago, what news was acceptable to be messaged. Is today’s technology simply replacing telegrams and phone calls, or is it rude?

What would you accept, or not accept?

In today’s society have these new technologies made our lives better, or do we appear to be too busy and/or rude?

Let me know what you think.

Helen